‘Naanu’- a young man of 75

“Grandpa has ears that truly listen, arms that always hold, love that’s never-ending, and a heart that’s made of gold.”- anonymous.

Dearest Shri,

This letter of mine is going to serve a dual purpose. First and foremost, it will help you to know your maternal grandfather whom you lovingly call ‘Naanu’, a little more. Secondly, it is going to assist your Mumma put together those feelings and emotions for her father that should have been conveyed but have hitherto remained unsaid. Of all the days, I chose to write this letter today because it is your Naanu’s 75th birthday- a milestone. Yes, not all children are lucky to celebrate their father’s platinum birthday. I am and for that, I am nothing but grateful to the Almighty.

Shri, from all these years that I have known my father, I can write with the conviction that your Naanu is just like a coconut- a hard exterior body encompassing a tender heart, and the only way to make it to his heart is through words that are full of love, wisdom, and warmth. Here, I would share a few of the several fond memories that I have of him. When I was a school going child, every morning, your Naanu used to sharpen the pencils of your Mumma and Sonu massi, not with a sharpener but a blade while giving a pause to his newspaper reading. This is the first memory that came to my mind because now as you have started your school, I do the same for you every night, the only difference is that I use a sharpener instead. Until Class 5th, it was he who used to get me and your younger massi dressed up for school. Whenever there used to be power cut, your Naanu used to fan me and your massi for hours with a hand fan so that we had our uninterrupted share of sleep. Those were the days when we did not have invertors and yet we looked forward to power cuts because it was during that time that the entire family would come together and have the best of conversations. We were taken down the memory lanes with real heart-to-heart talks unlike the virtual world of gadgets that exist today. Your Naanu was the one who taught me how to make a single tie knot and surprisingly when I passed out of school, it was me who always used to make a double knot for him. If I can remember correctly, the last time I made a tie knot for him was the night before my engagement. I have not seen him wearing a tie thereafter.

I never heard your Naanu telling any of his four kids, that he did not have time. He always had time for everything, and he used to be on or before time for all his meetings. He never skipped a single Parents Teachers Meeting (P.T.M) or our school annual function, and the best part was that none of the teachers ever had a complaint against any of his wards. He is a man that honor's everyone's time and he hates people who do not do the same.

As a kid and as a grown-up, I think my birthday used to be very lucky for him for all the unexpected financial gains it brought. That made me believe that of all your Massis and Maama, I was his favorite. I also remember that on one of my birthdays, he met with a fatal accident. Yet he came home without any assistance and on his way, he remembered to get for me rasgullas that I had requested him in the morning. Thereafter, he was on bed rest for a couple of days and that broke my heart. Only a father could have done this for his daughter. Another time when he got me my favorite sweet (Kaju ki barfi) was when my class 12th results were declared. Even though he was out of the station with no information about my score (there were no mobile phones in those days for instant communication and transfer of information), he came home with sweets, confident about me doing well. Your Mumma didn’t disappoint him. Son, to be honest, I did let him down on quite a few occasions, but he never gave up on me.

Your Naanu was the one to follow me to my college (University of Delhi) and back home when I took my maiden journey by bus. He did that for a few days without me knowing just to be sure that I can travel on my own. Imagine, leaving all his work only to follow me from 7 am until late in the evening. I have not come across many fathers doing the same.

I have never told him, but he has been my lucky charm. Whenever he accompanied me to job interviews, I successfully cracked them. Once I was in a teaching job, his mission of making me independent and fearless was accomplished. But still, every single day when I used to drive to Delhi for work, I was supposed to give him a missed call once I was at work and then back home so that he knew I was safe. That is a father’s heart. They will teach you to fly independently and still will have your back covered.

Your Naanu invested his money, time, and emotions in all his four children, three daughters, and a son. Although coming from a royal Rajput family, none of his daughters experienced any gender bias at home. We all were and are treated equally. He never thought in the rarest of dreams that his THREE daughters are a burden or liability in any manner. He was and is proud of each one of US.

He is a man of principles and has brought up his children to be independent, fearless, and honest. He is a man who loves to do things systematically. He will give you the best of advice without any bias or use of sugar-coated language. He is brutally honest and that is not appreciated by many. He lost his mother when he was very young and had a father who was working hard in a different city and thus grew up as an un-pampered child who made his own decisions and owned both his failures and success with ease. He is a self-made person who has worked and lived on his terms. I have never seen him seeking help or losing confidence even in the worst of times. I am sure, even if he has no money in his pockets, he is going to be undeterred. He is an optimistic person who has no expectations from anyone, including his only investments (his children). To sum up his personality, a dialogue from the movie ‘Pushpa’ which is currently running as a superhit movie strikes my mind; It goes “mai jhukega nahi” (I will never bend). Your Naanu won’t!

Hey, kiddo, not only does your mom's nose resembles that of her father but also several traits of her personality. Your Mumma takes pride in the compliment “Like father like daughter” extended by many of your Naanu’s friends.

Son, I can't sum up more than three decades of my life with him in just one letter, but I can surely express all my love for him here. Shri, you have been born in different times, where you get to tell your mom as well as dad, I love you, almost every day, and they too do the same, effortlessly. But in our times, saying “I love you” to father was quite difficult rather non-prevalent. Respecting him and showing your love for him by your actions was more prominent or as you say trending. I don’t remember saying “I love you” to your Naanu more than a couple of times and all these times when I must have written that as a message was after my marriage. But I never heard or got back a message saying I love you too. That does not mean, he does not love me, but he has several other ways of expressing the same. That is the beauty of the relationship we share. Today morning when I called him, I did conclude my wish with “I love you, Papa. Take care.” and I got an “Ok beta” in return. The word beta was his way of conveying his love for me. My child, I am winding this letter with the same statement: "I love you, Papa!”

Cheers

Your mumma who is more like her father

P.S. 1: My son, the first thing that Naanu enquired when you entered this world was, is the kiddo okay? Are all his body parts fine? Once he knew you were fine, he thanked God. When you turned one, he gave you a name, baalak hanuman. As you turned 2+, he admired you for never picking up anything from the floor and putting it in your mouth. Nowadays, he fears you because you are growing in strength, and he is losing the same. But one thing that has remained constant is his love for you.

P.S. 2: Shri, lucky are those grandchildren who have grandparents in flesh and blood, and luckier are those who get to stay with them. I pray you to have many more meetings with them in person to see how much they love you. As you grow, learn from them, be patient with them, listen to them and their stories (they have an unlimited supply of real stories) and narrate yours as they have all the time in the world to listen. Do respect them because that is the only thing they expect in return. Remember, one day your parents will be of the same age as them, and thereafter you. It is simply a matter of time. LOVE THEM WHILE THEY ARE STILL THERE.

P.S. 3: Dearest Papa, not many people your age are in good health, working, earning, running home, errands, and having their soulmate with them. In short, can age gracefully. I am grateful to the Almighty for this and pray that he keeps you protected, happy, and healthy in all the days to come. I know that you are the ONLY man in my life who will never hurt me" and that is what makes you, MY HERO! May you keep blessing us today and always. Love and regards- baby!