The Beauty of Firsts- A Mom's Perspective

"Firsts are always first and special"

I have grown up hearing people narrate how first of everything in their lives is closest to their hearts and etched perfectly in their brains- Special and Memorable! It could be their first movie, first job, first salary, first vehicle, first home, first crush, first date, first love, even first heartbreak….and the list goes on. Have we not witnessed so many interviews where the celebrities have always been asked about their firsts? I never cared about the hype around the 'so-called firsts' in my own life other than the fact that these firsts were to be memorized and quickly recalled if someone enquired. But everything changed the day I found out that I was going to be a Mom. Suddenly I took delight in remembering everything that happened for the first time. From that instant, when I heard my kiddo's heartbeat until the moment I saw and held him in my arms for the very first time, there have been innumerable firsts. All engraved beautifully in my mind with their sequence intact. These firsts have been and will always remain the closest to my heart as most of them were exclusively witnessed by no one except me, and nobody can feel or treasure them like I do. The best part of these firsts is that though I was under no pressure to remember them, yet I remember them with utmost perfection.

Memories- Will ALWAYS hold onto them!

It has been a little over four years when Shri-my son came into my life, but until date, I have not been able to part away with any of his belongings that are a part of his firsts. I just cannot muster enough courage. I know it might feel a bit strange that such a statement is coming from a mother who the day became a wife parted away from so many of her firsts that she had treasured as a daughter in her parents' home. Hats off and more power to US- the women!

I so treasure Shri's first things…first dress, first blanket, first toy, first picture, first bowl, first spoon, first shoes, first school dress, etc., that I just do not want to part away with them ever. I love to keep them safe not because I can pass them to his siblings as so many people across the globe do, but only because every time I look at those clothes, toys or pictures, the memories associated with them come alive. I relive all those moments which otherwise I know will never come back. For instance, whenever I come across his first dress, a tiny vest or a sweater (of just the size of my palm), it reminds me of how fast my munchkin has grown up. My very own creation whom I used to embrace for hours, has now reached my waist. Touchwood!

I am really in awe of my Mom who safely kept so many dresses belonging to me and my siblings for more than four decades without any assistance. All Ezee/Genteel washed in those times and as fresh as new. I am so proud to dress my kiddo in dresses that his Mumma, Massis, and Maama wore when they were kids of his age. Mom, I love you so much for this and everything. I have not come across many Moms doing what you did. I hope Shri says the same for me when he grows up. My intent of keeping my son's things safe is not to pass it to the next generation but to fulfil my desire of holding onto his memories for as long as I can.

These things, yes, these materialistic things take me back in time, in those moments where they were created. How can I let them go? His washed tiny clothes still have that lingering milk-soiled smell which no one except his Mom can detect. Whenever I pick up his Merry-go-round toy, it reminds me of the way he kept gazing at it for hours. His cars and other toys bring back memories of how my son's eyes widen with joy on receiving them for the first time and how he slept holding them tight, how several parts broke away to his hit and bang-bang, how suddenly he would wake up in the middle of his sleep, crying and asking me about a particular toy that was broken long ago; compelling me to search it in his repair box and thereafter coercing me to fix it. He kept his pressuring tool (incessant crying) handy in case I did not relent. Whoa! Those were the days, rather nights! All these and many other memories make me want to hold onto my munchkin's belongings even more tightly. I believe that watching Shri's things might help clear the dust that might get laid on my memories with time and age.

Of late, I have a strong urge to move into our own house and not staying in any rented accommodation. This is because in every corner of my home, I have treasured memories of Shri and I no longer want to lose them while hopping from one place to another. The same I guess; Shri also will wish as he grows up. He too will have cherished memories of his time spent in every nook and cranny of the house in the process of growing up, and I want him to be able to relive and visit those memories as and when he wants to. After all, looking at things, places and people does bring back memories which too might fade away with time!

Oceans of love,

Your 'Puppy Mummy'

('Puppy' here is synonym to the word 'Puchi' in Hindi)

P.S. Hey Shri, I do not promise to keep all your firsts but will keep enough for you to treasure them for the rest of your life. Wherever we stay, there will always be a corner in our home that will be dedicated to all your firsts because your firsts were, are, and will always remain special and memorable.